Progress Report:

My story:

2008 brought new challenges, namely my thyroid medication, which caused my metabolism to slow down, vacations and not thinking about what I was actually eating. I slowly reverted to old habits. I gained 40 lbs and went up to a whopping 299 lbs as of July 2008. I knew I needed to change my lifestyle. My life was too precious to be wasting it away. I was unhappy with my weight.

In the summer of 2008 I made a small step to change my life. I went to Marlon Teekah: Dynamic Fitness Training and that was the first day of my new life and I have yet to look back. I am not going to sugar coat working out with Marlon. It was hard work but who said anything in life comes easy? In my heart, I knew this was the way I wanted and needed to live my life. Marlon and I were training a few times per week from July 08 until the end of November 08. Since December 08, I have been training with my friend, but still check in with Marlon regularly for new programs and to discuss my progress.

It’s full steam ahead, December 30 2008 I am a fabulous 241 lbs and loving every bit of it. I am feeling great, more energetic, and feeling like I can take on the world. But I am not done yet. I still have a lot more work to do if I am going to get down to my long term weight goal of 180 lbs. I am also planning on doing a charity run and conquering the CN Tower stairs by spring.

June 20, 2009

I’m back!!!!

I had taken a turn on a side path along the road. I have learned many lessons, some of which were more difficult than others. However, I am here to say that I am still standing. By far, these few months have been the hardest I have endured. Sometimes we are tested to see how we rise above our circumstance and how we deal with situations. I have been tested personally, which has affected my morale and my motivation. One thing that I am happy about is that I have had this lifestyle for awhile now, so it wasn’t as if I had just stopped my routine completely. I still went to the gym and classes, but my heart was not in it. I am not easily broken but I was so close to my breaking point.

"God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them." - Stanley Lindquist

At this point in my journey, outside influences are beginning to feverishly penetrate my success. I have made a conscious decision to put my needs first. It has been everything or everyone else before me. I’m always censoring myself to protect other people’s feelings. But why? These same people couldn’t care less about me or didn’t even contribute to the success of this personal journey. Where were their words of encouragement? So I asked myself “Why should they steer me off track?”.

Today was a good day. I have recommitted myself towards my journey. Yesterday, I didn't really feel like going to the gym and I asked myself. "What would I end up doing at home?" The answer- absolutely nothing! Would that get me to where I want to be? Would that have any impact on my well being? Am I going to feel better if I stayed at home? The answer is no. I would feel even worse staying at home. For me it’s all about the positive self talk. I know myself and I can "self talk" myself in or out just about anything. So by having this positive self talk I am able to come to a rational, yet reasonable answer. I just went to workout and I realized that I have control of this life God granted in my short care. I have the power to either succeed or fail. What is the alternate of inactivity? Reverting to the old me. I made a conscious decision that I do not want to back track. And here I stand stronger, committed to me, to living the best life that I can and to those who are not with me. You can watch me win this battle of life. I have no time for dead weight. To my personal motivators, you know who you are- thank you for walking with me on this rocky road. I have said this before, Marlon is not just a trainer (and on a side note, sorry about the late journal!). I don't know if there are trainers out there who are interested in a clients’ overall well being. Thanks for the calls. These past month were hard and you were the constantly tell me how strong I am even when I doubted myself.

It not all about the numbers on a scale, this healthier me has come full circle, my mind body and soul.

I feel rejuvenated to a path of renewed strength and control. To date, I am feeling better and back on a regular schedule. Through the midst of it all I have started to run outside, which has actually been good. I gradually want to get back outside. I know for sure that before the end of the year I will be doing a 5 Km race.

"Anyone can give up; it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

Chi

April 16, 2009

It’s mid-April and things are going great! It feels like I am on the home stretch and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. However, I am not quite there yet.

Nothing compares to the feeling of knowing what I have accomplished these past months. I have done a lot of things in this short life of mine, such as building my career, buying my first car, but I think losing weight is by far the most extraordinary accomplishment of them all. I have excelled in difficult tasks before, but this one is personal and close to my heart. The change I see in myself is unremarkable and sometimes I stare in the mirror to remind myself of how far I have come and am unable to fully grasp the new person that is staring back at me. I am the happiest that I have ever been in a long time about my body image.

It is also remarkable that complete strangers have commented on my weight loss. They all seem to want to know what I am doing- It’s just working out and eating healthy (most of the time)! They all seem to ask me if I am on special diet. I am no expert, but I cannot survive on "cabbage soup" for weeks on end. I am realist and those diets just seem very unrealistic to me. However, “to each is own”.

I haven't been in this journey alone. My friend, Shelly, has been there from the very moment I started to train with Marlon. She has been there with me all of the way like my own one-person cheerleading team, whether it is talking me out of making a bad food decision or joining me to eat on my down days. She is also experiencing her own personal victory at weight loss. I have helped her to start running again. It is great when you have someone who is experiencing the same success and feelings that you are. I know that we are both looking forward to the summer and vacationing on the islands. We can’t wait to be on the beach in our swimsuits. We’re also going to have a swim suit trial day, and MT, you are invited! We have made a commitment to hold each other up and move forward because the feelings we have now are leaps and bounds greater than in the past. “Renewed confident women for 2009”. Thanks Shells.

I have also started the new FUSION group training class with Marlon and Liz, which made me recall my first sessions with Marlon last July. I was so unfit! Today is very different as I can actually keep up with the other people in the group class. My butt is always officially kicked every time I train with Marlon, and now Liz. The miraculous thing is I don’t hate them *smile*. Their group class is like having a personal trainer but you have your friends working with you to achieve a similar goal. When the class is over you look to your right and then to your left and you know they are feeling the same "sweet pain” that you are feeling.

Chi

March 28, 2009

Current Weight (03/28): 225.8 lbs
Future Goal Weight (04/28): 119.8-221.9 lbs

My workouts these past two weeks have been okay, despite my cold. Currently, the only thing that I am struggling with is my nutrition. I am trying to switch the food in my kitchen, but this is becoming a challenge. I really wish I can afford a personal chef! *Hint hint* my birthday is coming up this summer, so if any of my girls would like to get me a chef for a week, I will be very appreciative!

With weight lost comes confidence and with confidence comes great responsibility. Personally, I have noticed that I have been getting lot of attention from both sexes- the ladies want to know my weight loss secrets and the male can’t get over how "sexy" I am. I use that word "sexy" very loosely. “Sexy” in my case is how confident, strong and self assured I have become in the last few months. I would say that 2009 is definitely the year of Chi!

Chi

March 14, 2009

I have been told to dig deep for this journal entry. Knowing myself, however, if I don’t want to deal with something, I tend not to give it a second thought as long as it’s not on paper. Thus, here is my reality.

Last month I was really disappointed and felt like a complete failure for not achieving my weight loss goal. However, if I look at the “big picture”, this isn’t as horrible as I made it seem. I had two choices. Either I could wallow in self pity or I could get off my ass and work harder. If you have been reading my journal you should guess which choice I made-I worked harder because I hate failure. I kept my exercises at two sets, but increased my reps. I ran longer. Let's just say I was in suffering from the "bitter sweet pain" that MT inflicts. Nothing comes easily and I know that if I want something, I have to take it.

Success comes when we can rise above obstacles. I believe that this lesson cannot be taught, it has to be experienced. And yes, I have experienced it. However, I am still learning. I am learning not to put as much emphasis on the numbers on the scale because there are so many variables that can influence it, such as the time of day, hydration level and just being women (a fabulous woman, that is!) As I said, I am still learning and am focusing more on how I feel- wonderful, confident and extremely sexy (if I may say so myself)!

"Victory is sweetest when you've known defeat." - Malcolm S. Forbes

Chi

February 28, 2009

Current Weight (02/28): 231.6 lbs
Future Goal Weight (03/28): 223.6-225.6 lbs

I felt totally crappy about only losing 3 lbs this month. I kept going over in my head what I could have done better, what I could have changed. I felt like I failed. Always meeting my goals had made me feel somewhat invincible and I thought that losing weight would continue to be a piece of cake (no pun intended). In my world, I felt like failure was impossible. Alas, I have only myself to blame. I can try and twist it but in the end I am responsible for me. I have to take full ownership of what transpired, which is going to be hard because I am my worst critic. While this was a bitter sweet pill to swallow, now it is time for me to see how strong I can be. Now it is time to dust myself off and keep moving. I have to keep on going and look at the big picture.

With all honesty, I don’t think I worked as hard this month as in previous months. I became complacent. I went to the gym, but I was doing just enough (what I call “sweet pain”). I figured I would go to the gym because at least I was not at idle at home! What I am saying is I just went through the motions of going to gym for the month of February. There was no real effort to the workout regime, so what should I expect if I only put in that much effort? The greater the effort, the higher the reward. I am a student who does not like getting bad grades, so I am pushing for excellence for the next few weeks. Thank you Marlon and Shells for making me look at the big picture! However, it might take me a few days. Now the hard work begins "again" =).

I will keep you posted!

Chi

February 14, 2009

Well, I have had a lot of ups and downs these past couple of weeks from feeling the sting of rejection and disappointment. I have to remain strong- Our strength is only determined by how well we deal with adversity. I must honestly say that I flunked up my gym routine for three days. I am getting all my ducks in a row and this one area of my life seems to be lacking. I was feeling sorry for myself. However, my friends have assured me in time he too shall come, he is just walking really slow.

For me, the best way to get excited is to go shopping! I bought size 16 jeans, and I was so ecstatic! I have gone from a size 22 to size 16, and because of that, I purged my closet! It's my way letting go of the old me. Here's to celebrating me! I love it!

I tried skiing for the first time last Saturday. A little advice to anyone wanting to try this sport- take ski lessons FIRST! I spent the first 5 minutes on my bum unable to get up. Getting up was a task in itself. However, the little time that I actually spent skiing was fun and I would definitely try it again in the near future. It was a great full body workout. I can attest to that, I am still hurting in places that I didn't know I could. I am looking forward to the new week ahead. Swimming lessons is next on my agenda! I will keep you posted.

I am trying new things and I am looking forward to what's down the road for me...

Chi

January 31, 2009

Goal Weight (01/31): 233-235 lbs, Current Weight (01/31): 235 lbs
Future Goal Weight (02/28): 227-229 lbs

These past two weeks were quite uneventful for me. The weather outside didn't help much and I was at the point where I knew I had to press on, but everything seemed to be working against me. There were a few nights when I honestly just wanted to curl up in bed with a good book. However in the middle of all this self pity and the "why me’s", I had a fantastic revelation.

When I started this journey it was about me, however I have come to realize that the people around have been inspired. It was not just about me losing weight but also about how the decision to be a healthier has changed me as a person. I smile more, there is pep in my step and I am sassy times two!

My weight loss has shown my friends that they do can do it. It not a magic pill as sometimes portrayed. It takes hard work and determination and when they are ready to take that next positive step, I have to be a source of encouragement, drive and motivation.

It was in that moment that I reclaimed my joy. Hey, I'm a West Indian in Canada. I may not be able to change the weather but if I can steer one individual at a time towards becoming a healthier them, then a bigger part of this journey is unfolding.

Smile more and think positively- it may just change your entire outlook!

Chi

January 16, 2009

This week I realized how committed I am to this weight loss process since my gym partner was in hiatus. This being the case, I was on my own in the gym. A gym partner is good to have. Working out with someone who has similar goals with a little competitive spirit is great. However, there is a downside for me. Personally, I love having a partner but I don’t like to be dependent on that partnership as my sole reason for going to the gym. Based on my past experience, if my partner didn’t show up at the gym, this was my justification for not working out at all. So I have come to realize that it has to be all me. Partner or no partner, I am there!

Modification is always good, so I have revamped my workout so I don't get bored. I am upping my running since I have to increase my endurance for my next big goal, my charity run. I never thought I would enjoy running, but when I am on that treadmill, listening to my music and I am in the zone, it’s the best! I don’t believe I am saying this, but it feels rewarding after a long day of work!

I have noticed, and one of my close friends also pointed out to me (she is very good at that), that when people asked me if I was losing weight, I would reply "Maybe". In my defence, it was my way of not discussing that personal part of my life with random people. I think it was my way of still hiding. Mentally, if I confirmed my weight loss, and god forbid that I fell off the wagon, who knows whether these same people wouldn’t notice that also? They don’t call this a journey for nothing- it’s about baby steps. Everything comes with time, so I have made a conscious decision to say “Yes, I am losing weight”. Rome was not build in a day. It takes hard work and commitment. It’s time for me to stop living in fear of what may or may not happen, and relish in the progress I have made thus far. Baby steps!

Chi

January 2, 2009

Current Weight (12/30): 241 lbs
Future Goal Weight (01/31): 233-235 lbs

It's 2009 and for the first time in my life, I am not worrying about making the dreaded New Year's resolution of trying to lose weight. It's been approximately 6 months since I started my journey to lose weight and change my life. With my training, I went from weighting 299lbs (July 08) to weighting a voluptuous 241lbs and loving every minute of it. Not only have I lost the weight and will continue to do so, I have gained the confidence to finally fulfill my dream of participating in a charity run this summer.

The holiday season was not as bad as I thought it would be. I actually had to give myself permission to have holiday treats, which was a first for me. I also made a conscious note of what I was actually eating and kept my exercise schedule. I know the consequences of improper or over eating and I do not want to revert back to old habits. I now find myself stepping away from the temptation of food, or if I choose to eat a "not so good" snack, I am sure to just have a very small portion. I try not to restrict myself because doing so only increases my cravings.

Sometimes I become so focused on the future, that I forget to stop and reflect on the past and how far I have come. Tonight I was reminded of how far I have come. When I did, I was so happy that I cried! It was a combination of finally realizing that I am well on the path to a better life! Here's to looking at the glass half full!

Chi